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Crystal wanted to start a family so badly that she tried to have a baby with a sperm donor she found on Facebook, but to no avail.
Desperate for a baby, a single woman who found a sperm donor on Facebook revealed how, failing to get pregnant, despite artificially inseminating herself THREE TIMES in her bathroom, she discovered she had been through the menopause at 25.
Lidl shop assistant Crystal Ashwood, 32, of Wells, Somerset, who used a syringe to insert the stranger’s donated sperm, felt she was born to be a mum, so was devastated when, last month, she was told she had premature ovarian failure and would never carry her own biological child.
Now fundraising to have embryo donation, she said: “Women go through the menopause at double the age I had mine, which is just so unfair. All my life I have dreamed of being a mum. I can wait for a boyfriend, but I can’t wait for a baby.”
When Crystal’s menstrual cycle started wildly fluctuating at 25 – leaving her with without a period for up to six months at a time – at first, she thought it was stress-related.
Even her GP thought it was because of her lifestyle and suggested she lost weight but, despite shedding 7lb from her size 16 frame, Crystal’s periods kept disappearing, before coming back heavier than ever.
After two years of her periods following this hugely irregular pattern, aged 27 she was referred for an ultrasound at Musgrove Park Hospital in nearby Taunton, but the results were normal.
Following the scan, her periods returned, but were ridiculously heavy.
Crystal said. “They were so heavy I’d have to wear two or three pads and change them every few hours.
“I thought I was ok and just hoped the periods would stay.”
Her prayers were answered when she began to have a normal menstrual cycle, which continued until a year ago.
By then, having saved enough to buy a house, her yearning for motherhood and putting down roots intensified, even though she was single.
“I was 31 and felt like I was getting on a bit,” she said.
“All my friends had kids, so I wanted to be in that place, too. I didn’t have a fella, but knew I could find one at any point, whereas I couldn’t have kids at any point.”
And, bravely, thinking her period woes were behind her, in June this year Crystal started looking on Facebook for a sperm donor.
“I found a bloke on a Facebook donor page, who lived in the south west area,” Crystal said.
“We talked a bit, met for coffee and he agreed to help me. All he wanted was a cup of tea when he arrived at my house, before we tried the artificial insemination at home.”
Then, three times over the next three months, Crystal’s donor deposited his sperm into a pot in her bathroom, before she collected it and used a needleless syringe to insert its contents into her vagina.
But, tragically, for Crystal, each time she took a pregnancy test, just one single line appeared, not the magic two indicating she was expecting.
She said: “I really hoped it would work, and my periods had stopped again, so I was even more hopeful that it might be my time to be a mum. But every time I was disappointed.”
At a loss, Crystal decided to visit a private fertility clinic where, last month, she had Anti-Müllerian Hormone (AMH) testing with a blood test.
According to the NHS, AMH is produced by small follicles – pouches which contain the eggs – growing in the ovary.
The level of AMH reflects how many follicles are growing – in turn indicating how many eggs are present in the ovary. The number of eggs declines with age, until the menopause, when the supply runs out.
When Crystal’s test results showed she had premature ovarian failure, where a woman’s periods stop before the age of 45 – rather than the usual menopausal age of 45 to 55.
She explained: “They don’t know what causes the condition but said it had left me with just 0.02 per cent of my eggs, when most women of 32 have 20 to 30 per cent.”
Advising her that she had most probably gone through the menopause when her periods first stopped, aged 25, the doctor broke the news that the chances of motherhood with a biological child were over for her.
“My dream came crashing down,” she recalled, tearfully.
“I was devastated that I would never be able to have my own biological child. I could carry one, but I would need an egg and sperm donor to do it.
“All I ever wanted was to buy a house, marry and have a family. Every woman thinks she can just have children, no problem, but I’d had the menopause at half the age most women go through it, it just didn’t feel fair.”
After allowing herself a few weeks’ thinking time, Crystal decided she was still happy to carry a child who was not hers biologically.
“I started doing my research and discovered, in general, NHS funding is only available to couples and not to single women, so that ruled me out,” she said.
“So, feeling brave, I decided to go at it alone.
“But, when I realised that it would cost £8,000 in the UK or £3,000 in Spain, I started a GoFundMe page to ask for some help. My world would be complete with a child in it, it’s all I have ever wanted, so I do hope people will support me.”
To donate visit: https://www.gofundme.com/ivf-treatment-help-me-be-a-mum