Most parents in the U.S. provide some sort of financial support to their adult children, multiple surveys have found. But often, financial aid goes the other way.
A 2015 survey by TD Ameritrade found 13% of American adults provided financial support to a parent. Millennials were far more likely than older generations to report they were helping their folks. Of people born between 1981 and 1996, 19% helped support their parents, compared with 13% of Gen Xers (1965 to 1980) and 8% of baby boomers (1946 to 1964).
Sometimes the money is provided happily, or at least without resentment, by those following cultural norms or personal conviction that they owe it to their parents. Other times, financial aid to parents is a source of tension — between parent and adult child, among siblings and between partners.
Certified financial planner Austin A. Frye had no idea when he married his wife four decades ago that they would one day support her parents. The older couple, now in their 80s, cover their day-to-day expenses with a union pension and Social Security. Frye and his wife cover unexpected expenses and travel for her parents, Frye says, and also pay $15,000 a year for a long-term care policy.
Frye says that though he's happy to be in a position to help his in-laws, he still wishes they had saved money for their retirement .
"They just spent what they made," Frye says. "They didn't really plan."
Certified financial planner Kashif A. Ahmed, on the other hand, comes from a Pakistani culture where younger people get into arguments about who will have the honor of caring for an older relative. Ahmed said he needed a spreadsheet to coordinate the dozens of relatives who volunteered to help his great-grandparents in their final illnesses.
Ahmed invited his mother to move in with him after his father died in 2001. His wife, Simona, an economist who grew up with similar values in Romania, supported the move, and Ahmed's mother is helping to raise their four daughters, ages 6 to 16.
Ahmed says financial advisers from other cultures often have trouble grasping the deep sense of obligation. He's heard peers criticize clients who aren't saving enough for retirement or are neglecting other goals while supporting parents, saying the clients don't "get it."
"I'll say, 'No, no, no. You don't get it,' " Ahmed says.
Balancing competing goals is what financial planning is all about. If you're supporting a parent or think you may in the future, the following steps could help make the balancing act a bit easier.
TALK TO YOUR PARTNER. If you're married or in a committed relationship, it helps to get on the same page about how much you're willing and able to give. Brainstorm different scenarios, such as emergency expenses (how much can you give, and what constitutes an emergency?) or long-term care (can you provide care in your home or help pay for in-home or nursing care?). If you're not clear what you can afford, a consultation with a financial planner could help. If you don't have a partner, talking to a trusted friend or a financial planner can help you clarify what you can offer and when.
TALK WITH YOUR PARENTS. Just over half of the people supporting parents in the TD Ameritrade survey had ever talked with them about it. Financial planners say that understanding the parents' financial situation can help you prepare, and might also provide an opportunity for you to reduce their need for your help. You could help them budget, give them a session with a financial planner or check Benefits.gov for assistance programs. You also can let them know how much help you can afford to provide.
ROPE IN YOUR SIBLINGS, IF YOU HAVE THEM. Even if they can't contribute financially, they may be able to help in other ways: running errands, taking parents to the doctor, handling bill paying and other paperwork, or providing respite care.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. You may have to delay retirement, buying a house or having kids to support your parents. Many people do, according to the survey. But you should have a plan to eventually reach your own goals. Unlike your parents, you may have only yourself to rely on when you're older.
This column was provided to The Associated Press by the personal finance website NerdWallet. Liz Weston is a columnist at NerdWallet, a certified financial planner and author of "Your Credit Score." Email: lweston@nerdwallet.com. Twitter: @lizweston.
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COPENHAGEN, Denmark (AP) — The vast coin collection of a Danish butter magnate is set to finally go on sale a century after his death, and could fetch up to $72 million.
Lars Emil Bruun, also known as L.E. Bruun, stipulated in his will that his 20,000-piece collection be safeguarded for 100 years before being sold. Deeply moved by the devastation of World War I, he wanted the collection to be a reserve for Denmark, fearing another war.
Now, over a century since Bruun’s death at the age of 71 in 1923, New York-based Stack’s Bowers, a rare coin auction house, will begin auctioning the collection this fall, with several sales planned over the coming years.
On its website the auction house calls it the “most valuable collection of world coins to ever come to market.” The collection's existence has been known of in Denmark but not widely, and it has has never been seen by the public before.
“When I first heard about the collection, I was in disbelief,” said Vicken Yegparian, vice president of numismatics at Stack’s Bowers Galleries.
“We’ve had collections that have been off the market for 100 years plus,” he said. “But they’re extremely well known internationally. This one has been the best open secret ever.”
Born in 1852, Bruun began to collect coins as a boy in the 1850s and '60s, years before he began to amass vast riches in the packing and wholesaling of butter.
His wealth allowed him to pursue his hobby, attending auctions and building a large collection that came to include 20,000 coins, medals, tokens and banknotes from Denmark, Norway and Sweden.
Following the devastation of World War I and fearing another war, Bruun left strict instructions in his will for the collection.
“For a period of 100 years after my death, the collection shall serve as a reserve for the Royal Coin and Medal Collection," it stipulated.
“However, should the next century pass with the national collection intact, it shall be sold at public auction and the proceeds shall accrue to the persons who are my direct descendants.”
That stipulation didn’t stop some descendants from trying to break the will and cash in, but they were not successful. “I think the will and testament were pretty ironclad. There was no loophole,” Yegparian said.
Yegparian estimates some pieces may sell for just $50, but others could go for over $1 million. He said potential buyers were already requesting a catalogue before the auction was announced.
The collection first found refuge at former Danish royal residence Frederiksborg Castle, then later made its way to Denmark’s National Bank.
Denmark’s National Museum had the right of first refusal on part of the collection and purchased seven rare coins from Bruun’s vast hoard before they went to auction.
The seven coins — six gold, one silver — were all minted between the 15th and 17th centuries by Danish or Norwegian monarchs. The cost of over $1.1 million was covered by a supporting association.
“We chose coins that were unique. They are described in literature as the only existing specimen of this kind,” said senior researcher Helle Horsnaes, a coin expert at the national museum.
“The pure fact that this collection has been closed for a hundred years makes it a legend,” Horsnaes said. “It’s like a fairytale.”
Vicken Yegparian, vice president of numismatics, Stack's Bowers Galleries, holds a silver Norwegian coin from 1628, part of L. E. Bruun's collection, in Zealand, Denmark, May 7, 2024. The vast coin collection of a Danish butter magnate is set to finally go to on sale a century after his death, and could fetch up to $72 million. Lars Emil Bruun, also known as L.E. Bruun, stipulated in his will that his 20,000-piece collection be safeguarded for 100 years before being sold. (AP Photo/James Brooks)
Coins from L. E. Bruun's collection on display on wooden tray, in Zealand, Denmark, May 7, 2024. The vast coin collection of a Danish butter magnate is set to finally go to on sale a century after his death, and could fetch up to $72 million. Lars Emil Bruun, also known as L.E. Bruun, stipulated in his will that his 20,000-piece collection be safeguarded for 100 years before being sold. (AP Photo/James Brooks)
Vicken Yegparian, vice president of numismatics, Stack's Bowers Galleries, holds a golden coin once belonging to the collection of Danish king, Frederik VII, now part of L. E. Bruun's collection, in Zealand, Denmark, May 7, 2024. The vast coin collection of a Danish butter magnate is set to finally go to on sale a century after his death, and could fetch up to $72 million. Lars Emil Bruun, also known as L.E. Bruun, stipulated in his will that his 20,000-piece collection be safeguarded for 100 years before being sold. (AP Photo/James Brooks)
