Kiss-and-cry: Is figure skating's voyeuristic staple worth the mental health toll on its athletes

MILAN (AP) — Kristi Yamaguchi thought she had done enough to win the gold medal at the 1992 Winter Olympics in Albertville, France.

Even the dress she was wearing that night was accented with gold.

But it wasn't until Yamaguchi heard her scores while sitting in the kiss-and-cry area just off the ice inside Halle Olympique, longtime coach Christy Ness by her side, that everything became real. First came solid technical marks in the old 6.0 scoring system, then came huge artistic scores of almost 5.9 across the board, catapulting Yamaguchi out of her seat to wave at the fans.

“It was just such an incredible moment,” she recalled.

Showcasing such moments — the unscripted exuberance and unbridled joy — is a big reason why the kiss-and-cry exists. So are those cute, endearing moments, like when Yamaguchi accidentally sat back down on a big stuffed teddy bear.

Then there is the opposite end of the competitive spectrum, moments that put on display skaters at their lowest. That was what Ilia Malinin endured on Friday night, when his disastrous free skate ruined his chances for gold. The world watched as the heavy favorite to triumph at the Milan Cortina Games sat through several agonizing minutes of dejection.

It raises the question: As more emphasis is placed on the mental health of athletes, should the sport of figure skating continue such a voyeuristic practice of having scores revealed to them — the good, yes, but especially the bad — in such a nakedly public way?

“I guess it's just always been part of the sport. I wouldn't know it without it,” Yamaguchi told The Associated Press. “You are always going to have that element of tension while you're waiting for the scores to come up. TV is all about getting good TV moments, so why not create a place where you showcase the emotions of the athletes in the moment?”

It makes sense for those moments of sheer happiness.

At the 2010 Vancouver Olympics, Canadian ice dancers Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir shared a moment of serene joy as they learned they had won on home soil. Over the years, French skater Kevin Aymoz has become famous for his kiss-and-cry celebrations, including one where he broke down in tears upon taking over first place at the 2023 world championships in Japan.

“It’s thrilling," Aymoz said, “when you see those scores come up.”

Yet there have been just as many cringe-worthy moments in figure skating, too.

At the 2014 Sochi Games, Yuna Kim of South Korea looked positively deflated the moment she learned her bid for back-to-back titles had ended with a silver medal. Four years later, at the 2018 Pyeongchang Games, Gabrielle Daleman could only bury her face in her hands after the Canadian's disappointing free skate, her painful reaction beamed to a global audience.

She no doubt would have preferred sitting backstage when her scores were read.

The subject of the kiss-and-cry is not such a debate at the senior level, where athletes are essentially professionals. They understand that the drama created by the moment is good for the sport, and good for their own brands. It humanizes them to fans watching in the stands or at home, creating a sort of emotional bond that can pay long-term dividends.

But what about junior- and novice-level skaters, including those not even teenagers yet, who may get to revel in the soaring highs of hearing a good score but must also suffer through the soul-crushing lows of hearing a poor one?

After all, the International Skating Union pointed to mental health as one of the primary reasons following the 2022 Beijing Games for increasing the age limit for senior-level skaters from 15 to 17 in time for the Milan Cortina Games.

“In our Congress in 2018 this was a topic, a heated discussion, pros and cons — ‘Do we want the best skaters or do we want to pay more attention to the well-being of an athlete?’” ISU president Jae-youl Kim said. “Then at our last Congress in '24, we invited Gracie Gold, and we devoted a whole session to safeguarding young athletes.”

Gold, the former two-time U.S. champion, has been an outspoken proponent for the mental health of skaters. She laid out her own struggles in her 2024 memoir, “Outofshapeworthlessloser: A Memoir of Figure Skating, F(asterisk)cking Up, and Figuring It Out.”

Yet the ISU has rarely discussed the propriety of the kiss-and-cry, so ingrained is it in the sport of figure skating.

Instead, it seems to have doubled-down on the drama.

During last year's world championships, the ISU introduced a “hot seat,” where the current leader must sit in sight of the crowd until someone beats them. For the Olympics, there is not only a hot seat but a “podium box” where second and third must sit.

“It's a high-pressure environment,” acknowledged Amber Glenn, who helped the U.S. win team gold earlier in the Winter Games, and who will compete in the individual event next week. “I think we are getting to the point where we are kind of trying to find a balance of what is good for the sport and what is good for the athlete."

In the meantime, the kiss-and-cry will remain centerstage for some of the most emotional moments of the Olympics.

“It is the good and bad,” Yamaguchi said. “I think everyone has just accepted that’s part of the sport.”

AP Olympic coverage: https://apnews.com/hub/milan-cortina-2026-winter-olympics

Maxim Naumov of the United States reacts to his scores after competing during the men's free skate program in figure skating at the 2026 Winter Olympics, in Milan, Italy, Friday, Feb. 13, 2026. (AP Photo/Francisco Seco)

Mikhail Shaidorov of Kazakhstan competes during the men's free skate program in figure skating at the 2026 Winter Olympics, in Milan, Italy, Friday, Feb. 13, 2026. (AP Photo/Ashley Landis)

Kevin Aymoz of France reacts to his scores after competing during the men's free skate program in figure skating at the 2026 Winter Olympics, in Milan, Italy, Friday, Feb. 13, 2026. (AP Photo/Ashley Landis)

Piper Gilles, center, and Paul Poirier, right, of Canada react to their scores after competing during the ice dancing free skate in figure skating at the 2026 Winter Olympics, in Milan, Italy, Wednesday, Feb. 11, 2026. (AP Photo/Stephanie Scarbrough)

Ilia Malinin of the United States reacts after competing while Mikhail Shaidorov of Kazakhstan is seen on left while waiting for scores during the men's free skate program in figure skating at the 2026 Winter Olympics, in Milan, Italy, Friday, Feb. 13, 2026. (AP Photo/Ashley Landis)

MILAN (AP) — At the Milan Cortina Olympic Games, winning medals isn’t the only thing making hearts swell. From the ice rinks to the snowy hills, love is in the frozen air.

Some competitions already seem to have Cupid in attendance.

Dutch skater Jutta Leerdam set an Olympic record in the 1000-meter race, then turned to find her fiancé Jake Paul in the stands; both visibly weeping, they made heart signs to one another with their hands. And downhill skiing champion Breezy Johnson ’s longtime boyfriend proposed to her near the finish line Thursday while surrounded by members of the U.S. Ski Team.

Valentine's Day for athletes and attendees at the Games doesn't usually mean grand gestures, but it's no less special.

Valentine’s Day is the finals for the women’s skeleton event. That means that Kim Meylemans of Belgium and Nicole Rocha Silveira of Brazil — an international couple who play for their separate national teams — will be too busy for a romantic dinner. They told The Associated Press they didn’t even bring gifts to exchange.

But since they are together all the time, “It’s always a bit of a Valentine's Day," Meylemans said. “It is part of our sport every day, our love.”

The two feel fortunate their national Olympic committees arranged for them to bunk together at Cortina d'Ampezzo's Olympic village, since typically only teammates share housing. Half their room is decorated for Belgium, the other half Brazil.

Rocha Silveira was new to the sport in 2019 when Meylemans was already competing in World Cup races. They fell in love during the pandemic while sharing short-term rentals, since many hotels closed.

Fast forward to 2024, and they unknowingly bought identical engagement rings and planned proposals for the same boat trip in Brazil while on vacation. They married last August.

When they compete, they high-five and kiss before each run, wishing the other well.

“It doesn’t matter which one is on the podium. At the end of the day, it’s a victory for our team," Meylemans said.

Rocha Silveira said it’s important their relationship appears during these Games in Italy, where same-sex marriages aren't recognized and only married heterosexual couples are allowed to jointly adopt.

It’s a great place to “show it even more,” and “encourage and inspire people that they can be themselves,” she said.

Lori and Curtis Brown have been married for over 30 years and will be spend Valentine's Day at the skating arena where they are volunteering for this year’s Winter Olympics.

About 18,000 volunteers are spread across the venues in northern Italy — a sea of navy blue uniforms keeping the Olympics running around the clock, with duties such as giving directions, accompanying athletes to venues, crowd control and medical support.

Curtis, 60, said neither of them had realized they were scheduled to work. Now, they're hoping they can coincide their breaks to have dinner together, perhaps surrounded by the rest of the volunteers, he joked.

“This is the most special Valentine’s Day of our lives,” Curtis said. “Because we’re both here, we’re both on the same page, we’re both enjoying this adventure together.”

While presents are neither’s love language, Lori, 61, told the AP she bought boxer briefs from the official Milan Cortina souvenir store. Curtis hadn’t bought anything for her.

“It’s not so much about gift giving, just going out and doing something together,” said Lori, 61. She spoke while sitting beside Curtis, so perhaps she’ll be surprised on Saturday.

Canadian hockey forward Laura Stacey and her wife, team captain Marie-Philip Poulin, have a different kind of date: playing Germany's team in the quarterfinals in Milan.

“We have a game, we have a big game, so spending it together. We’re pretty lucky,” Stacey said. “Most people don’t get to do what they love, chasing their dreams together, and we do. So I think on February 14th, I think it’s important for us to just appreciate that and not take it for granted."

Aside from taking on Germany, they don't have plans — but Stacey said they will surely at least give each other cards.

Many other couples are at the Olympics, some teammates and others competing against each other.

— The record-breaking face of the U.S. women’s hockey team, Hilary Knight, is in Milan with her girlfriend Brittany Bowe, a speedskater from the U.S. skating team. On Saturday, she posted a photo of a pink, heart-shaped carabiner on her Instagram.

— American figure skaters Madison Chock and Evan Bates were married in 2024 and won a silver medal on Wednesday.

— U.S. bobsledding has a power couple with reigning women’s monobloc world champion Kaysha Love engaged to men’s push athlete Hunter Powell. She’s in the Olympics for the second time, while he's making his debut.

— U.S. Alpine skiing star Mikaela Shiffrin — that sport’s all-time wins leader — is engaged to Norway’s Aleksander Aamodt Kilde, who returned to racing this season after dealing with major injuries.

— Italy’s luge team Dominik Fischnaller and the U.S.’s Emily Sweeney married last year after dating for almost 15 years.

— Latvia’s luge team includes the husband-and-wife pair of Martins Bots and Elina Bota, both single sliders.

—Curling may have the most well-known couples of any sport. Norway’s Magnus Nedregotten and Kristin Skaslien have been together since 2008 and won bronze in Pyeongchang. Jocelyn Peterman and Brett Gallant of Canada married in 2022 and were favorites this year. There are Switzerland’s Yannick Schwaller and Briar Schwalller-Huerlimann, too; they brought their baby and photos of him carrying a curling broom twice his size went viral.

He looked like a curling Cupid.

McDermott reported from Cortina d’Ampezzo, Italy. Associated Press writer John Wawrow in Milan contributed to this report.

AP Olympics: https://apnews.com/hub/milan-cortina-2026-winter-olympics

Netherlands' Jutta Leerdam looks in the crowd for her fiancé Jake Paul, left center, as she celebrates after winning the women's speedskating 1,000-meters final at the 2026 Winter Olympics, in Milan, Italy, Monday, Feb. 9, 2026. (AP Photo/Antonio Calanni)

Switzerland's Yannick Schwaller and Briar Schwaller-Huerlimann kiss during the mixed doubles round robin phase of the curling competition against Britain, at the 2026 Winter Olympics, in Cortina d'Ampezzo, Italy, Sunday, Feb. 8, 2026. (AP Photo/Fatima Shbair)

United States' Breezy Johnson, right, and fiancee Connor Watkins are interviewed after he proposed to her at the end of an alpine ski, women's super-G race, at the 2026 Winter Olympics, in Cortina d'Ampezzo, Italy, Thursday, Feb. 12, 2026. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

Canada's Marie-Philip Poulin (29) gathers with teammates during warmups before a preliminary round match of women's ice hockey against Czechia at the 2026 Winter Olympics, in Milan, Italy, Monday, Feb. 9, 2026. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)

Belgium's Kim Meylemans, right, and Brazil's Nicole Rocha Silveira, left, embrace at the finish during a women's skeleton run at the 2026 Winter Olympics, in Cortina d'Ampezzo, Italy, Friday, Feb. 13, 2026. (AP Photo/Alessandra Tarantino)

Belgium's Kim Meylemans, left, and Brazil's Nicole Rocha Silveira react, at the finish during a women's skeleton run at the 2026 Winter Olympics, in Cortina d'Ampezzo, Italy, Friday, Feb. 13, 2026. (AP Photo/Alessandra Tarantino)

Brasil's Nicole Rocha Silveira arrives at the finish during a women's skeleton training session at the 2026 Winter Olympics, in Cortina d'Ampezzo, Italy, Tuesday, Feb. 10, 2026. (AP Photo/Alessandra Tarantino)

Belgium's Kim Meylemans starts for a women's skeleton run at the 2026 Winter Olympics, in Cortina d'Ampezzo, Italy, Friday, Feb. 13, 2026. (AP Photo/Aijaz Rahi)

Belgium's Kim Meylemans, left, and Brazil's Nicole Rocha Silveira react, at the finish during a women's skeleton run at the 2026 Winter Olympics, in Cortina d'Ampezzo, Italy, Friday, Feb. 13, 2026. (AP Photo/Alessandra Tarantino)