Communicating on group chats has quickly become a way of life, but what are the rules?
We used to use email, the phone or talk in person. Now we use platforms like iMessage, WhatsApp or Slack to coordinate a night out with friends, a kid’s birthday party, a work project or even to discuss sensitive military information — as U.S. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth did by sharing details of airstrikes in a Signal chat.
But while group chats have exploded in popularity because of their informality, that also creates its own challenges: Discussions can veer off topic, repetitive or basic questions can irritate group members, and that viral meme you think is funny could also offend.
The principles of digital etiquette remain the same as other kinds of etiquette, but they are also “context specific and many of the rules are implicit rather than explicit,” said Rupert Wesson, a director at Debrett’s, the British etiquette guide, who outlined key tips for The Associated Press.
Etiquette is always based on the idea of care and consideration for others, Wesson said. So it helps to think about how the recipients might be affected by your message.
That means, for example, not wasting other members' time by asking questions that could be easily answered by doing a Google search, or scrolling up or searching through the previous posts.
The Trent Windsurfing Club near Nottingham, England, which communicates with members using both WhatsApp and email, spells out other considerations in a 15-point list on its website.
“Don’t get angry if someone doesn’t respond to your messages in a group. No one is obliged to do so. Better send him/her a direct message,” the club says.
Also, “Before sending a video, picture, meme or any content, analyze if such material will be in the interest of the majority of the members of the group.”
And avoid sending videos or files that are very large, because “nobody likes to saturate the memory of their smartphone or waste their data/internet plan on nonsense,” its guidance says. The club did not respond to a request for comment.
Always consider the chat group's purpose. For those created with a specific and practical function in mind, just stick to the task and don't post any more than you need to, Wesson said.
On the other hand, “some groups are there for frivolity and here, more is more,” he added.
It should be obvious, but don't post personal stuff in a company or business-related chat, and refrain from posting work-related material in a group with friends or family.
It doesn't hurt to lurk first before weighing in, partly because on some chat platforms new members can't see what was posted before they joined.
“It is always best to err on the side of caution until you are very clear on the purpose and culture of the group,” Wesson said.
Do you need to respond to every message? There's often someone who feels the need to type out a reply to every post, even if it's just to say “thanks.” But doing so in a big group might be somewhat akin to an email reply-all storm.
Wesson advises considering how many people are in the chat.
“If there are three of you in the group, a response, if only an emoji, is almost expected,” Wesson said. “In group of 50 or more it is practically a criminal offense.”
This is an especially important point when it comes to work communications, with many white collar workers now using chat platforms like Slack and Microsoft Teams rather than email to communicate.
These platforms feel less formal than email but don't forget to follow the same guidelines as you do with other company communications.
“Assume anything messaged can be forwarded and be especially cautious of work chats (however informal they appear),” Wesson said. “As countless people have discovered at employment tribunals, any diversion into anything indecorous can be career limiting.”
Chat messages should be short and sweet.
One reason is that your words could come across differently depending on the person reading the message, so stick to using short sentences to avoid being misinterpreted.
If it's about work, and you want to discuss something in more length and detail, consider an in-person meeting, a phone call, or email instead.
“No one wants to read a 7-inch-long unformatted message when an organized attachment would have worked better,” the American etiquette experts at The Emily Post Institute, advised in a blog post on business communications.
It’s not a college essay, so the rules around grammar, punctuation or even emoji don't need to be too strict.
“You should not feel too constricted and nor should you judge others for playing fast and loose with the King’s English,” Wesson said. “Just let brevity and clarity be your guide.”
Speaking of emoji, they're fun and can convey your meaning as well as the most thoughtful turn of phrase, Wesson said. But don't abuse them because they can be a “minefield.”
There’s a world of difference between, for example, the crying emoji and the crying with laughter emoji, he said. It’s best to play it safe and avoid emoji when, for example, sending condolences, Wesson said.
If you're getting annoyed by the number of message notifications from a big chat group, or you feel uncomfortable because of some of the comments, just put it on mute. And don't be afraid to leave the group if you don't need to be in it.
Before leaving, consider letting the chat administrator know.
“The group administrator has a responsibility to ensure the chat serves its purpose and that things don’t get too out of hand,” Wesson says.
What should admins do if certain people are causing problems?
“If things are going awry, deleting a member is an option but perhaps a little drastic. A quiet DM or a brief muting should always be considered first,” Wesson says.
If you do leave the chat, should you say farewell?
Again, it depends on the context. If it's for a one-off event with a lot of people you don't know, there's probably no need.
But if, say, you're part of a remote work project, it would be a good idea to notify everyone.
“When leaving make it clear that you are removing yourself immediately so the chat does not fill up with people wishing you farewell,” Wesson said.
Is there a tech topic that you think needs explaining? Write to us at onetechtip@ap.org with your suggestions for future editions of One Tech Tip.
FILE - A man talks on his iPhone in New Delhi, India, Wednesday, May 18, 2016. (AP Photo/Tsering Topgyal, File)
FILE - A person uses their personal phone in Barcelona, Spain, Monday, June 17, 2024. (AP Photo/Emilio Morenatti, File)
For a state that’s home to Hollywood, there isn’t much star power in California’s gubernatorial race. It’s a somewhat different story in Los Angeles, where a reality television personality is running for mayor as the city prepares to host the Olympics.
More primaries are being held on Tuesday as well. Democrats are banking on a rare chance to regain ground in Iowa, a rural state that has repeatedly eluded them in recent years. Republicans, meanwhile, are grappling with a New Jersey congressman whose unexplained absence could put their already slim majority at risk.
— California: Voters are weighing in on who should lead the nation’s most populous state, where there is no clear leader among candidates vying to advance in the race to succeed Democratic Gov. Gavin Newsom. Plus, U.S. House races are on the ballot, along with the Los Angeles mayor’s race.
— New Mexico: Contests in the state include primaries for congressional seats, a U.S. Senate seat and a long list of statewide offices, but the governor’s race is the main attraction. Former Interior Secretary Deb Haaland is running for the Democratic nomination, which could put her on a historic path for Native American leaders.
— New Jersey: One of this year’s most closely watched House midterms will take place in the battleground district represented by Rep. Tom Kean Jr., who has drawn public scrutiny and concern after missing more than 100 House votes due to an undisclosed medical issue. Voters are deciding which Democrat will run against him in November.
— Read more about races in Iowa, Montana and South Dakota.
Here's the latest:
Republican Spencer Pratt is dismissing Nithya Raman’s campaign as “weak” and effectively over. The only real race, he says, is between him and Democratic incumbent Karen Bass.
Raman, a former Bass ally and progressive city council member, is challenging the mayor from the left.
In a social media video posted Monday, Pratt says Raman hasn’t gotten anything done during her six years in city leadership. He calls a vote for Raman a waste.
“At this point, it’s me and Karen,” Pratt says.
President Donald Trump on Tuesday urged his followers to vote for Hilton, a former Fox News TV host and British political adviser.
“He will work with me and the Federal Government, the money will flow because I have confidence in him (but not any of the others!), and we will MAKE CALIFORNIA GREAT AGAIN!” Trump wrote on Truth Social.
Meanwhile, Vice President J.D. Vance called Hilton a “good guy” and encouraged Californians to vote for him.
“California is such a beautiful state--it just needs better political leadership!” Vance wrote on X.
Nithya Raman was once an ally to Bass, but she filed to challenge her as mayor just hours before the filing deadline. Raman described the city as “at a breaking point.”
She has promised to speed up housing construction, bring back entertainment industry jobs and improve services in a city known for dirty streets and buckled pavement.
Raman hasn’t drawn as much national chatter as Pratt, a former reality television star whose supporters have tried to boost his candidacy with AI-generated videos.
Last week, Raman took a shot at that tactic with her own video showing her flanked by supporters. “No AI was used in the making of this video,” it said.
The nation’s most populous state is dominated by Democrats, but some are unsure of who to vote for.
“I’m kind of pinching my nose and voting this go-around rather than being excited,” said Colin Culver, a 21-year-old San Diego resident who ultimately voted for Tom Steyer.
It’s been a chaotic campaign, particularly when former Rep. Eric Swalwell dropped out of the race after being accused of sexual assault.
Paul Mitchell, a Democratic strategist tracking ballot returns, said some voters “are holding onto the ballot because they have seen this kind of topsy-turvy governor’s race,” and “they’re waiting to make sure they’re making the right choice.”
Two Democrats are seeking their party’s nomination to replace Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham, a term-limited Democrat who will leave office at the end of 2026. Sam Bregman, an Albuquerque-based district attorney, is campaigning on his law enforcement record and promises to stand up to the Trump administration.
Former congresswoman and U.S. Interior Secretary Deb Haaland has emphasized her ancestral roots in the state and experience working in the nation’s capital.
Haaland leads Bregman in fundraising by a wide margin, but the primary has become increasingly combative. Bregman’s campaign has seized on the fact that Haaland has declined multiple opportunities to debate him. Meanwhile Haaland’s campaign has cast Bregman as out of touch with everyday New Mexicans, highlighting his personal wealth.
By any measure, Bass’ first term has been challenging. The worst wildfire in city history began while she was traveling with a presidential delegation in Ghana. Homelessness continues to be a challenge.
“I haven’ always got it right,” Bass says.
But now she wants a second term, which would allow her to keep leading the city of 4 million people as it hosts the Olympics in 2028.
Bass is facing challenges from the left and the right. Progressive city council member Nithya Raman and Republican reality television personality Spencer Pratt are among the 14 names on the ballot.
With so many candidates, no one is likely to get a majority of the vote on Tuesday, meaning the election would be settled by a November runoff between the top two.
One of the most closely watched House races in this year’s midterms is unfolding in the New Jersey district represented by Rep. Tom Kean Jr., who’s been absent from votes for nearly three months.
Kean is running unopposed in the Republican primary, where he’s has Trump’s support. But his absence because of an undisclosed personal medical issue has generated outsized interest in the contest.
Kean is seeking a third term.
Republican Rep. Tom Kean Jr. is running unopposed in the primary for New Jersey’s 7th congressional district on Tuesday. But he’s facing growing scrutiny for an unexplained medical absence that has stretched for more than three months, causing him to miss more than 100 votes in Congress.
Trump weighed in on social media late Monday, saying Kean was “working tirelessly” to support the MAGA agenda.
Though Kean isn’t facing any GOP competition today, he’s seeking reelection this fall in one of the few genuinely competitive congressional districts left on the map. Several Democrats vying to take him on in the general election have made his absence — and the lack of clarity surrounding it — a central part of their message.
Every two years, the attention of the nation’s political class is riveted on a Democratic-leaning congressional district in California’s Central Valley. Republican Rep. David Valadao has been able to fend off repeated Democratic challengers, except in 2018, when he barely lost. But he ran again two years later and reclaimed the seat.
Democrats redrew the district to make it even tougher for Valadao. They recruited a moderate who represents the area in the state capital, Assemblywoman Jasmeet Bains, to run against him. But she’s had to battle a more liberal rival, political science professor and school board member Randy Villegas. The primary will determine Valadao’s next opponent.
That means all candidates are on the same ballot, regardless of their party affiliation. California has used that system for more than a decade.
It’s occasionally resulted in two candidates from the same party competing against each other in a general election. That happened most notably in U.S. Senate races in 2016 and 2018, when two Democrats faced off.
In the governor’s race, though, one Republican and one Democrat have always advanced to November. Democrats had feared a lockout this year given their large field of candidates. But those worries have diminished in the race’s closing weeks.
A Democrat has held the governor’s office since 2011, when Jerry Brown took over from Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Democrats have also had a firm grip on the state Legislature.
Republicans Steve Hilton and Chad Bianco say that means Democrats are to blame for the state’s expensive gas and housing, its homelessness crisis and a slew of other problems. Both have pledged to reduce regulations and taxes.
Hilton has President Donald Trump’s backing. That could help him in the primary but hurt him in the general election in the heavily Democratic state.
Holding on to Iowa is a big part of the GOP’s plan to keep its U.S. Senate majority.
A super PAC affiliated with Senate Republicans has pledged $29 million to help ensure the seat stays in GOP hands.
That means all candidates are on the same ballot, regardless of their party affiliation. California has used that system for more than a decade.
It has occasionally resulted in two candidates from the same party competing against each other in a general election. That happened most notably in U.S. Senate races in 2016 and 2018, when two Democrats faced off.
In the governor’s race, though, one Republican and one Democrat have always advanced to November. Democrats had feared a lockout this year, given their large field of candidates. But those worries have diminished in the race’s closing weeks.
The candidates are U.S. Rep. Randy Feenstra, state Rep. Eddie Andrews, businessman and former conservative political director Zach Lahn, former state Rep. Brad Sherman and former director of the state Department of Administrative Services Adam Steen.
If no candidate earns at least 35% of Republican primary voters, the nominee would be selected at a contested state party convention.
Trump endorsed Feenstra on Friday, saying on social media that “Randy is MAGA all the way!”
The generational fighting that has been ripping through the Democratic Party continues in California’s primaries.
In the Los Angeles-area’s 32nd District, 42-year-old lawyer Jake Levine is challenging Brad Sherman, 71, a 15-term member of the House of Representatives.
And in the 7th District near Sacramento, 40-year-old city councilwoman Mai Vang is challenging Doris Matsui, 81, who has held the seat since her husband, a congressman himself for decades, died in 2005.
Tom Steyer, the former hedge fund manager turned climate activist, spent nearly $200 million of his money on advertising alone.
The billionaire’s ad campaign was the most expensive in the country by far this election cycle. The data comes from advertising tracker AdImpact.
Steyer’s rivals in the governor’s race and his critics have accused him of trying to buy the election.
But he’s defended his spending, saying he is fighting against powerful corporate interests that are driving up the price of living in the state. Pacific Gas & Electric, a major California utility, is among the corporations and business interests funding anti-Steyer ads.
“I’m only working for the people of California,” Steyer said last week.
They are former mayor of fast-growing Rio Rancho Gregg Hull, cannabis business owner Duke Rodriguez and public relations professional Doug Turner.
While Hull and Turner have not aligned their campaigns with the MAGA movement, Rodriguez was recently served a cease-and-desist letter from a law firm representing Trump for “deceptive use” of the president’s image in campaign materials. That contest's winner faces an uphill battle to win in a state where a Republican has not been elected to statewide office in 10 years.
A sign directs voters to a polling place for the New Jersey primary election in Cherry Hill township, N.J., Tuesday, June 2, 2026. (AP Photo/Matt Rourke)
A person walks from a polling place for the New Jersey primary election in Oaklyn, N.J., Tuesday, June 2, 2026. (AP Photo/Matt Rourke)
