It’s often said there is a thin line between love and hate, but is it OK to sometimes hate your long-term partner? If you ask actress Jamie Lee Curtis, it’s practically necessary.
Asked about the secret to her 40-year marriage to actor Christopher Guest, she recently said the key includes patience, perseverance and “a really good dose of hatred.”
“All of a sudden you literally want to hate each other. And then the next day, it’s a pretty, sunny day, and the dog does something cute or your child does something cute, and you look at each other and you’re like, ‘Aw, gosh,’” Curtis told Entertainment Tonight after picking up an Emmy Award for her role in “The Bear." “And you’re on another track.”
Relationship experts say it’s normal for couples to experience moments of what feels like genuine hatred. The difference between couples who last and those who don’t can lie in how they handle their emotions in those moments.
“Hating the person you love is the most common thing in the world,” said Jane Greer, a marriage and family therapist and author of “Am I Lying to Myself? How to Overcome Denial and See the Truth." “We think we’re supposed to love our partner all the time unconditionally, but that’s not the way it works.”
Stereotypical annoyances, like leaving the toilet seat up or cluttering the floor with shoes, accumulate when left unaddressed, said Terri Orbuch, a sociology professor at Oakland University and author of “Five Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great.”
To prevent pet peeves from growing into a bigger problem, it’s important to “sweat the small stuff,” said Orbuch, who in her research has followed hundreds of couples over the course of 36 years.
“What starts out as a small, irritating habit becomes, ‘You’re not listening to me. You don’t love me. Maybe we’re not right for one another, and I hate you,’” she said.
Criticizing an issue in the moment, however, isn’t the best approach, Orbuch said. Find a good time and situation to discuss it: away from kids and not right after work, just before leaving for the day or while tired in bed.
Orbuch recommended opening the discussion with positives, then using what she called an XYZ statement. For instance, give examples that show you know they are a great partner overall, such as being a wonderful friend or being good to your mother. Then, follow with: when you do X (throw your clothes on the floor) in situation Y (instead of in the hamper), I feel Z (frustrated).
Then follow with: “Can we talk about that?”
Calling out a specific behavior helps your spouse or partner process the issue better than if you had accused them of having a character flaw, such as, “You’re such a slob.”
“We box that person in where they don’t know what to say or what to change to alleviate the frustration,” Orbuch said.
Greer said a great way to help hateful moments dissipate faster is to build up a reservoir of positive emotions. Take note not only of aspects of your partner that you adore, but also why they make you feel good.
If your partner gives you flowers, for example, instead of simply thanking them, let them know how you felt when you received them. Saying you appreciate the flowers because it showed they had listened to something you needed helps to reinforce those positive emotions, she said.
“When you’re feeling the love, it’s important to label it,” Greer said. “It’s important to say, ‘You know what, I’m having a love-you moment.’”
Albert Stumm writes about food, travel and wellness. Find his work at https://www.albertstumm.com.
FILE - A couple sits by the lake in Cismigiu park, in Bucharest, Romania on April 24, 2024. (AP Photo/Vadim Ghirda, File)
(AP Illustration/Annie Ng)
LAS VEGAS (AP) — With the start of the New Year squarely behind us, it's once again time for the annual CES trade show to shine a spotlight on the latest tech companies plan on offering in 2026.
The multi-day event, organized by the Consumer Technology Association, kicks off this week in Las Vegas, where advances across industries like robotics, healthcare, vehicles, wearables, gaming and more are set to be on display.
Artificial intelligence will be anchored in nearly everything, again, as the tech industry explores offerings consumers will want to buy. AI industry heavyweight Jensen Huang will be taking the stage to showcase Nvidia's latest productivity solutions, and AMD CEO Lisa Su will keynote to “share her vision for delivering future AI solutions.” Expect AI to come up in other keynotes, like from Lenovo's CEO, Yuanqing Yang.
The AI industry is out in full force tackling issues in healthcare, with a particular emphasis on changing individual health habits to treat conditions — such as Beyond Medicine's prescription app focused on a particular jaw disorder — or addressing data shortages in subjects such as breast milk production.
Expect more unveils around domestic robots too. Korean tech giant LG already has announced it will show off a helper bot named “ CLOiD,” which allegedly will handle a range of household tasks. Hyundai also is announcing a major push on robotics and manufacturing advancements. Extended reality, basically a virtual training ground for robots and other physical AI, is also in the buzz around CES.
In 2025, more than 141,000 attendees from over 150 countries, regions, and territories attended the CES. Organizers expect around the same numbers for this year’s show, with more than 3,500 exhibitors across the floor space this week.
The AP spoke with CTA Executive Chair and CEO Gary Shapiro about what to expect for CES 2026. The conversation has been edited for clarity and length.
Well, we have a lot at this year's show.
Obviously, using AI in a way that makes sense for people. We’re seeing a lot in robotics. More robots and humanoid-looking robots than we’ve ever had before.
We also see longevity in health, there’s a lot of focus on that. All sorts of wearable devices for almost every part of the body. Technology is answering healthcare’s gaps very quickly and that’s great for everyone.
Mobility is big with not only self-driving vehicles but also with boats and drones and all sorts of other ways of getting around. That’s very important.
And of course, content creation is always very big.
You are seeing humanoid robots right now. It sometimes works, sometimes doesn’t.
But yes, there are more and more humanoid robots. And when we talk about CES 5, 10, 15, 20 years now, we’re going to see an even larger range of humanoid robots.
Obviously, last year we saw a great interest in them. The number one product of the show was a little robotic dog that seems so life-like and fun, and affectionate for people that need that type of affection.
But of course, the humanoid robots are just one aspect of that industry. There’s a lot of specialization in robot creation, depending on what you want the robot to do. And robots can do many things that humans can’t.
AI is the future of creativity.
Certainly AI itself may be arguably creative, but the human mind is so unique that you definitely get new ideas that way. So I think the future is more of a hybrid approach, where content creators are working with AI to craft variations on a theme or to better monetize what they have to a broader audience.
We’re seeing all sorts of different devices that are implementing AI. But we have a special focus at this show, for the first time, on the disability community. Verizon set this whole stage up where we have all different ways of taking this technology and having it help people with disabilities and older people.
Well, there’s definitely no bubble when it comes to what AI can do. And what AI can do is perform miracles and solve fundamental human problems in food production and clean air and clean water. Obviously in healthcare, it’s gonna be overwhelming.
But this was like the internet itself. There was a lot of talk about a bubble, and there actually was a bubble. The difference is that in late 1990s there were basically were no revenue models. Companies were raising a lot of money with no plans for revenue.
These AI companies have significant revenues today, and companies are investing in it.
What I’m more concerned about, honestly, is not Wall Street and a bubble. Others can be concerned about that. I’m concerned about getting enough energy to process all that AI. And at this show, for the first time, we have a Korean company showing the first ever small-scale nuclear-powered energy creation device. We expect more and more of these people rushing to fill this gap because we need the energy, we need it clean and we need a kind of all-of-the-above solution.
A Coro breastfeeding monitor is pictured at a Coroflo booth during the CES Unveiled tech show Sunday, Jan. 4, 2026, in Las Vegas. (AP Photo/Abbie Parr)
Yonbo X1 robots are pictured at the X-Orgin booth during the CES Unveiled tech show Sunday, Jan. 4, 2026, in Las Vegas. (AP Photo/Abbie Parr)
A Tombot robotic puppy is pictured at a Tombot booth during the CES Unveiled tech show Sunday, Jan. 4, 2026, in Las Vegas. (AP Photo/Abbie Parr)
People arrive at the CES Unveiled tech show Sunday, Jan. 4, 2026, in Las Vegas. (AP Photo/Abbie Parr)
