Her kidnapped son was killed in a Gaza tunnel. A new memoir gives a searing account of her grief

JERUSALEM (AP) — When Hersh Goldberg-Polin was in the tunnels in Gaza, fellow hostages say he often quoted a line from Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl: “Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear with almost any ‘how.’”

Through his long months in captivity, family and friends hoped that, like Frankl, he would come back with a message of hope. Then, in August 2024, after nearly a year in captivity, he and five other hostages were shot dead by their captors deep underground, likely as Israeli forces were closing in.

The quest for his why has fallen to his family, who led a high-profile campaign for his release. His mother, Rachel Goldberg-Polin, has a new book released Tuesday.

“When We See You Again” has no narrative arc, no tidy uplifting message, no score settling with the Hamas militants who killed her son or the Israeli leaders who many blamed for his death — only a searing account of her grief.

She hasn’t yet decided whether the book is an exceptionally painful love story, or a love-filled pain story.

“I’m still trying to figure out with clarity what is my why, but it’s clear to me that my why is not done,” Goldberg-Polin said, a photo of a smiling Hersh behind her. “I just really wanted to tell the truth. It’s very ugly.”

Hersh was among the 251 people abducted by Hamas in its Oct. 7, 2023, attack. His hand was blown off by a grenade before he was dragged into Gaza and eventually into the militant group’s labyrinth of tunnels.

The war sparked by the attack led to the killing of over 70,000 Palestinians and the destruction of much of Gaza before a ceasefire deal in October led to the release of all the remaining hostages. Hersh had been killed, along with five other hostages, more than a year earlier.

Rachel had campaigned tirelessly for her son’s release, appearing in countless media interviews, meeting with then-President Joe Biden and addressing the Democratic National Convention. She also joined mass protests in Israel accusing the government of failing to reach a deal sooner.

Her son was among the best-known hostages. Posters and graffiti with his name and face still appear across the country, often bearing the line popularized by Frankl.

In her memoir, Rachel takes care not to mythologize him. She notes that he picked his scabs as a kid and was bad at doing dishes.

“Hersh has become a symbol to many,” Goldberg-Polin writes in the book. “I don’t know what to do with that. But it’s OK. If people need Hersh to be something, he will be that. That is the essence of service, being what is needed.”

Rachel grew up in Chicago and moved to Israel with her husband and three children when Hersh, the oldest, was 6. She tells stories from the “before time”: of how Hersh as a child would wow people with his encyclopedic knowledge of U.S. presidents, and how he loved Jerusalem's local soccer team and their sister team in Bremen, Germany.

She only briefly touches on his capture and the details of his captivity, which have been widely reported. She writes about their desperate search for information in the chaotic and terrifying days after the attack, their long fight for his release and the news of Hersh's killing, along with five others, after 328 days.

The book is mostly a “very raw, peeled, oozing, throbbing pain,” Goldberg-Polin said. She describes “hundreds of sodden days dripping with anguish.”

“The book really started just as a way of taking this tremendous weight of suffering that was causing my soul to buckle,” she said in an interview in Jerusalem.

The writing came out in bursts, without a plan for a final project, just a question of “How do I survive the next 15 minutes?” she said.

The book emerged in part from her frustration when people asked how she was. “I think, ‘Well, do you not see this dagger sticking out of my chest at my heart? How can you possibly be asking me that?’” she said. “But I realized they don’t see it. And it’s not because they’re mean or insensitive. They simply don’t see it.”

“Someone who’s born blind doesn’t know what blue is, and it’s very difficult to describe blue to someone who’s blind. But I’m desperate for people to see my blue, and I’m yearning for people to feel my pain,” she said.

Then there were those who wanted to share their own stories of death and loss, even during her son’s shiva, the traditional Jewish week of mourning after the funeral. It’s an experience that she describes as overwhelming and eye-opening, revealing the “surplus of suffering” in the world.

“They’re not trying to comfort me, they’re saying: ‘Let me stand next to you and we’ll be in this together,’” she said.

During the campaign to release the hostages, one of Rachel’s mantras was “Hope is mandatory,” even when it felt impossible. Now, wherever they go, people ask her and her husband for a bit of their creased and crumpled hope.

She has no easy answers, as she tells Hersh in a letter addressed to her dead son near the end of the book.

“I will carry your why,” she writes. “I'll do it, I’ll carry your why around the world.”

FILE - Jon Polin, left, and Rachel Goldberg, parents of Hersh Goldberg-Polin, pictured on screen speak during the Democratic National Convention Wednesday, Aug. 21, 2024, in Chicago. (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite, File)

FILE - Friends and supporters of Israeli-American hostage Hersh Goldberg-Polin, who was kidnapped to the Gaza Strip on Oct. 7, 2023, protest outside of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's residence to demand a deal for the immediate release of all hostages, after Hamas released a video of Goldberg-Polin, in Jerusalem, Wednesday, April 24, 2024. (AP Photo/Maya Alleruzzo, File)

FILE - Jonathan Polin and Rachel Goldberg, parents of Israeli-American hostage Hersh Goldberg-Polin, who was killed in Hamas captivity in the Gaza Strip, attend their son's funeral in Jerusalem, Monday, Sept. 2, 2024. (Gil Cohen-Magen/Pool via AP, File)

Rachel Goldberg-Polin, whose 23-year-old son, Hersh, was kidnapped on Oct. 7, 2023 Hamas cross border attack on Israel and killed in Gaza nearly a year later, poses for a photo in Jerusalem, Wednesday, April 15, 2026. (AP Photo/Ohad Zwigenberg)

Rachel Goldberg-Polin, whose 23-year-old son, Hersh, was kidnapped on Oct. 7, 2023 Hamas cross border attack on Israel and killed in Gaza nearly a year later, poses for a photo with her new book "When We See You Again," in Jerusalem, Wednesday, April 15, 2026. (AP Photo/Ohad Zwigenberg)

MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) — Thousands of people rallied Saturday in the cradle of the modern Civil Rights Movement to mobilize a new voting rights era as conservative states dismantle congressional districts that helped secure Black political representation.

U.S. Sen. Cory Booker of New Jersey called Montgomery “sacred soil” in the fight for civil rights.

“if we in our generation do not now do our duty, we will lose the gains and the rights and the liberties that our ancestors afforded us,” Booker said.

The crowd was led in chants of “we won’t go back” and “we fight.”

“We are not going down without a fight. We are not going down to Jim Crow maps,” Shalela Dowdy, a plaintiff in the Alabama redistricting case said.

A crowd of thousands gathered in front of the city’s historic Alabama Capitol, the place where the Confederacy was formed in 1861 and where the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke in 1965 at the end of the Selma-to-Montgomery Voting Rights March. The stage, set in front of the Capitol, was flanked from behind by statues of Confederate President Jefferson Davis and civil rights icon Rosa Parks — dueling tributes erected nearly 90 years apart.

Speakers said the spot was once the temple of the confederacy and became holy ground of the civil rights movement.

Some in the crowd said the effort to redraw lines has echoes of the past.

“We lived through the “60s. It takes you back. When you think that Alabama’s moving forward, it takes two steps back,” said Camellia A Hooks, 70, of Montgomery, Alabama.

The rally began in Selma, where a violent clash between law enforcement and voting rights activists in 1965 galvanized support for passage of the Voting Rights Act. It then moved to the state Capitol, where the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. gave his “How Long, Not Long” speech that same year.

A recent U.S. Supreme Court ruling involving Louisiana hollowed out voting rights law that was already weakened by a separate decision in 2013 and then narrowed further over the years. That helped clear the way for stricter voter ID laws, registration restrictions, and limits on early voting and polling place changes, including in states that once needed federal preclearance before they could change voting laws because of their historical discrimination against Black voters.

Veterans of the Civil Rights Movement are alarmed by the speed of the rollbacks, noting that protections won through generations of sacrifice have been weakened in little more than a decade.

Kirk Carrington, 75, was a teen in 1965 when law enforcement officers attacked marchers in Selma on what became known as “Bloody Sunday.” A white man on a horse wielding a stick chased Carrington through the streets.

“It’s really just appalling to me and all the young people that marched during the ’60s, fought hard to get voting rights, equal rights and civil rights,” Carrington said. “It’s sad that it’s continuing after 60-plus-odd years that we are still fighting for the same thing we fought for back then.”

Montgomery is home to one of the congressional districts that is being altered in the wake of the Supreme Court ruling.

A federal court in 2023 redrew Alabama's 2nd Congressional District after ruling that the state intentionally diluted the voting power of Black residents, who make up about 27% of its population. The court said there should be a district where Black people are a majority or near-majority and have an opportunity to elect their candidate of choice.

But the Supreme Court cleared the way for a different map that could let the GOP reclaim the seat. While the matter remains under litigation, the state plans special primaries Aug. 11 under the new map.

Democratic Rep. Shomari Figures, who won election in the district in 2024, said the dispute is not about him but rather people's opportunity to have representation.

“When Republicans are literally turning back the clock on what representation, what the faces of representation, look like, what the opportunities, legitimate opportunities for representation look like across this country, then I think it starts to resonate with people in a little bit of a different way,” Figures said.

Alabama House Speaker Nathaniel Ledbetter, a Republican, said the Louisiana ruling provided an opportunity to revisit a map that was forced on the state by the federal court.

“People tend to forget what happened. When this thing went to court, the Republican Party had that seat, congressional seat two,” Ledbetter said last week. “There’s been a push through the courts to try to overtake some of these red state seats, and that’s certainly what happened in that one.”

Evan Milligan, the lead plaintiff in the Alabama redistricting case, said there is grief over the implosion of the Voting Rights Act but it is crucial that people recommit to the fight.

“We have to accept that this is the new reality, whether we like it or not,” Milligan said. “We don’t have to accept that this will be the reality for the next 10 years or two years or forever.”

The State capitol is seen during a voting rally, Saturday, May 16, 2026, in Montgomery, Ala. (AP Photo/Mike Stewart)

A protestor holds a sign of the late Georgia Congressman John Lewis during a voting rally, Saturday, May 16, 2026, in Montgomery, Ala. (AP Photo/Mike Stewart)

A man sings a spirtual song during a voting rally, Saturday, May 16, 2026, in Montgomery, Ala. (AP Photo/Mike Stewart)

A protestor holds a sign of the late Georgia Congressman John Lewis during a voting rally, Saturday, May 16, 2026, in Montgomery, Ala. (AP Photo/Mike Stewart)

U.S. Sen Corey Booker, D-NY., has his photo taken during a voting rally, Saturday, May 16, 2026, in Montgomery, Ala. (AP Photo/Mike Stewart)

People gather during a voting rally, Saturday, May 16, 2026, in Montgomery, Ala. (AP Photo/Mike Stewart)

U.S. Sen Corey Booker, D-NY., has his photo taken during a voting rally, Saturday, May 16, 2026, in Montgomery, Ala. (AP Photo/Mike Stewart)

Aaron McGuire sings a spirtual song during a voting rally, Saturday, May 16, 2026, in Montgomery, Ala. (AP Photo/Mike Stewart)