Review: An X-rated Muppets in 'The Happytime Murders'

It's almost reassuring that in today's often sanitized, assembly-line mainstream moviemaking that a film can be as crude, as off-brand and as bad as "The Happytime Murders." Almost.

Starring Melissa McCarthy in a seedy, half-human, half-puppet Los Angeles, "The Happytime Murders" is an R-rated, adult-themed puppet adventure from Brian Henson, son of Jim. That in itself isn't terrible. The elder Henson himself had adult aspirations for the Muppets. (They were, awkwardly, a part of the first season of "Saturday Night Live.") From Edgar Bergen's dummies to "Avenue Q" to "Team America" the thrill of puppets saying what they shouldn't has long held some amusement.

But the humor of "The Happytime Murders," a Jim Henson Company production featuring a new species of Muppet dubbed Miskreants, is so stale that I suspect even those bitter balcony critics Statler and Waldorf wouldn't bother heckling it. "Happytime Murders" has been promoted as "No Sesame, All Street," a tagline that resulted in a lawsuit from PBS (it was dismissed). And Henson (who directed "The Muppet Christmas Carol" and "Muppet Treasure Island") seems to think the film can coast by purely on cheap giggles from puppets browsing for porn, snorting glitter through Twizzlers and being blown into clouds of cotton.

This image released by STX Entertainment shows Maya Rudolph, left, and Melissa McCarthy, background center in a scene from "The Happytime Murders." (Hopper StoneSTX Entertainment via AP)

It can't. The result is a low point for the Jim Henson Company, a dispiriting and unmitigated misfire whose only upside is that it shows a sloppy, ill-considered movie can still get made, despite today's quality controls.

"The Happytime Murders" is dispiriting not because it's crude but because it's so empty of wit, despite the comic firepower of McCarthy, Maya Rudolph and Elizabeth Banks — a trio not in need of puppet assistance. Yet the film's clash of cute and coarse makes the toon mash-up "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" look comparatively seamless.

And like "Roger Rabbit," ''The Happytime Murders" is a detective tale: a film noir with felt. Phil Phillips (puppeteer Bill Barretta) is a private eye like most before him — a cynical ex-cop with Venetian shades in his office — only Phil differs in that he's occasionally mistaken for a blue sock.

This image released by STX Entertainment shows Joel McHale in a scene from "The Happytime Murders." (Hopper StoneSTX Entertainment via AP)

In "The Happytime Murders," the puppets are second-class citizens with few rights of their own, though more freedom than when they were earlier forced to be entertainers. "Times have changed," Phil tells a sidewalk performer. "You don't have to sing and dance for the man anymore." To make it in Hollywood, some puppets, like Phil's brother, resort to bleaching their skin and donning more human-like noses.

Phil finds himself on the trail of a "Seven"-like killer who is killing all of the stars from a former puppet sitcom, "The Happytime Gang." The case reunites him with his former partner (McCarthy). In their pursuit, the puppet deaths, whether by bullet or dog bite, are frequent and messy. For a movie about the dignity of the puppet in a human world, it derives a lot of glee from seeing them torn to shreds.

Maybe Muppets could make salient sociopolitical metaphors. Maybe letting them run amok in a grown-up world could be funny. Maybe Gonzo's chicken fetish is worth investigation.

This image released by STX Entertainment shows Elizabeth Banks in a scene from "The Happytime Murders." (Hopper StoneSTX Entertainment via AP)

But such a parallel universe doesn't exist in "The Happytime Murders," which uses its premise for only a parade of ghastly scenes of sex, violence and expletives. None pay off, not even the prolonged finale of a desk-side tryst, complete with a Silly String burst. Despite the (human) comedic talent, only Rudolph lands a single joke.

It's all such a painfully far cry from the heights of the Henson empire. As Rowlf the Dog once sang, "I hope that something better comes along."

"The Happytime Murders," a STX Entertainment release, is rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America for strong crude and sexual content and language throughout, "and some drug material." Running time: 91 minutes. One star out of four.

Follow Jake Coyle on Twitter at: http://twitter.com/jakecoyleAP

CARY, N.C. (AP) — Clayton Kershaw isn't done pitching just yet, agreeing Thursday to join the U.S. team for this year's World Baseball Classic.

The three-time NL Cy Young Award winner wanted to pitch for the Americans in the 2023 tournament but was prevented because of insurance issues. He had a $20 million, one-year contract with the Los Angeles Dodgers at the time.

“I was too broken for the insurance to cover my arm and everything,” Kershaw said on MLB Network, “so now that it doesn't matter I get to go and be a part of this group.”

A left-hander who turns 38 two days after the March 17 championship game, Kershaw announced last September that he was retiring at the end of the season, his 18th in a stellar career for the Dodgers. He won his third World Series title and finished 223-96 with a 2.53 ERA and 3,052 strikeouts.

“I just want to be the insurance policy,” Kershaw said. “If anybody needs a breather or if they need me to pitch back-to-back-to-back or if they don’t need me to pitch at all, I’m just there to be there. I just want to be a part of this group.”

Later Thursday, new Chicago Cubs third baseman Alex Bregman announced he will join the U.S. team.

When Kershaw received a call from U.S. manager Mark DeRosa, he thought he was being invited as a coach.

“I didn't have a whole lot of interest in picking up a baseball again," Kershaw said. “I started throwing 10, 12 days ago and it doesn’t feel terrible, so I think I’ll be OK.”

Kershaw joins a U.S. pitching staff that includes right-handers David Bednar, Clay Holmes, Griffin Jax, Nolan McLean, Mason Miller, Joe Ryan, Paul Skenes and Logan Webb along with left-handers Tarik Skubal and Gabe Speier.

The American roster also includes catchers Cal Raleigh and Will Smith; infielders Ernie Clement, Gunnar Henderson, Brice Turang and Bobby Witt Jr.; outfielders Byron Buxton, Corbin Carroll, Pete Crow-Armstrong and Aaron Judge; and designated hitter Kyle Schwarber.

The U.S., which lost the 2023 championship game to Japan, opens March 6 against Brazil at Houston, part of a group that also includes Britain, Italy and Mexico.

Shohei Ohtani struck out then-Los Angeles Angels teammate Mike Trout to end Japan's 3-2 win in the 2023 championship. Kershaw doesn't anticipate facing Ohtani, his teammate for the Dodgers' World Series titles in 2024 and 2025.

“I think something will have gone terribly wrong if I have to pitch against team Japan in the finals or something. I think we got plenty of guys to get that guy out and not me,” Kershaw said. “But if that happens, I'll be nervous. I'll be nervous at this point.”

AP baseball: https://apnews.com/hub/MLB

FILE - Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Clayton Kershaw celebrates the end of the top of the 12th inning against the Toronto Blue Jays in Game 3 of baseball's World Series, Monday, Oct. 27, 2025, in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Brynn Anderson, File)