Review: An X-rated Muppets in 'The Happytime Murders'

It's almost reassuring that in today's often sanitized, assembly-line mainstream moviemaking that a film can be as crude, as off-brand and as bad as "The Happytime Murders." Almost.

Starring Melissa McCarthy in a seedy, half-human, half-puppet Los Angeles, "The Happytime Murders" is an R-rated, adult-themed puppet adventure from Brian Henson, son of Jim. That in itself isn't terrible. The elder Henson himself had adult aspirations for the Muppets. (They were, awkwardly, a part of the first season of "Saturday Night Live.") From Edgar Bergen's dummies to "Avenue Q" to "Team America" the thrill of puppets saying what they shouldn't has long held some amusement.

But the humor of "The Happytime Murders," a Jim Henson Company production featuring a new species of Muppet dubbed Miskreants, is so stale that I suspect even those bitter balcony critics Statler and Waldorf wouldn't bother heckling it. "Happytime Murders" has been promoted as "No Sesame, All Street," a tagline that resulted in a lawsuit from PBS (it was dismissed). And Henson (who directed "The Muppet Christmas Carol" and "Muppet Treasure Island") seems to think the film can coast by purely on cheap giggles from puppets browsing for porn, snorting glitter through Twizzlers and being blown into clouds of cotton.

This image released by STX Entertainment shows Maya Rudolph, left, and Melissa McCarthy, background center in a scene from "The Happytime Murders." (Hopper StoneSTX Entertainment via AP)

It can't. The result is a low point for the Jim Henson Company, a dispiriting and unmitigated misfire whose only upside is that it shows a sloppy, ill-considered movie can still get made, despite today's quality controls.

"The Happytime Murders" is dispiriting not because it's crude but because it's so empty of wit, despite the comic firepower of McCarthy, Maya Rudolph and Elizabeth Banks — a trio not in need of puppet assistance. Yet the film's clash of cute and coarse makes the toon mash-up "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" look comparatively seamless.

And like "Roger Rabbit," ''The Happytime Murders" is a detective tale: a film noir with felt. Phil Phillips (puppeteer Bill Barretta) is a private eye like most before him — a cynical ex-cop with Venetian shades in his office — only Phil differs in that he's occasionally mistaken for a blue sock.

This image released by STX Entertainment shows Joel McHale in a scene from "The Happytime Murders." (Hopper StoneSTX Entertainment via AP)

In "The Happytime Murders," the puppets are second-class citizens with few rights of their own, though more freedom than when they were earlier forced to be entertainers. "Times have changed," Phil tells a sidewalk performer. "You don't have to sing and dance for the man anymore." To make it in Hollywood, some puppets, like Phil's brother, resort to bleaching their skin and donning more human-like noses.

Phil finds himself on the trail of a "Seven"-like killer who is killing all of the stars from a former puppet sitcom, "The Happytime Gang." The case reunites him with his former partner (McCarthy). In their pursuit, the puppet deaths, whether by bullet or dog bite, are frequent and messy. For a movie about the dignity of the puppet in a human world, it derives a lot of glee from seeing them torn to shreds.

Maybe Muppets could make salient sociopolitical metaphors. Maybe letting them run amok in a grown-up world could be funny. Maybe Gonzo's chicken fetish is worth investigation.

This image released by STX Entertainment shows Elizabeth Banks in a scene from "The Happytime Murders." (Hopper StoneSTX Entertainment via AP)

But such a parallel universe doesn't exist in "The Happytime Murders," which uses its premise for only a parade of ghastly scenes of sex, violence and expletives. None pay off, not even the prolonged finale of a desk-side tryst, complete with a Silly String burst. Despite the (human) comedic talent, only Rudolph lands a single joke.

It's all such a painfully far cry from the heights of the Henson empire. As Rowlf the Dog once sang, "I hope that something better comes along."

"The Happytime Murders," a STX Entertainment release, is rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America for strong crude and sexual content and language throughout, "and some drug material." Running time: 91 minutes. One star out of four.

Follow Jake Coyle on Twitter at: http://twitter.com/jakecoyleAP

MILWAUKEE (AP) — Four years after showing up late for the Beijing Olympics and missing one of his races because of a case of COVID-19, U.S. long track speedskater Casey Dawson is enjoying what he jokingly terms his “villain arc,” peaking at the right time ahead of the Milan Cortina Games.

Dawson secured a spot for next month in the men's 5,000 meters — an event he was forced to skip in 2022 while sick — by winning at that distance at the U.S. Olympic trials in 6 minutes, 12.857 seconds on Friday night.

“I actually got COVID two or three weeks before going to the competition. Tested positive for 50 straight tests,” said Dawson, a 25-year-old from Park City, Utah. “Couldn’t go over to the Games. I missed the opening ceremonies. Missed the 5,000 meters. Showed up 12 hours before my 1,500 meters. So I kind of got a little screwed over from that point of view. But this time around, I’m just looking forward to getting there smoothly and just getting a little bit of redemption.”

And then, with a chuckle, Dawson added: “It’s kind of fun to have, like, my villain arc, I would call it. Just coming back and having some fun.”

Ethan Cepuran was about 6 1/2 seconds back Friday, finishing next in 6:19.335.

The last American man to medal in the 5,000 at an Olympics was Chad Hedrick at the 2006 Turin Games.

Dawson already had secured the lone U.S. place for Milan in the men’s 10,000 — a race not being contested at these trials — and also will be part of the trio for men’s team pursuit at the Olympics.

Dawson, Cepuran and Emery Lehman took the bronze in that event in Beijing four years ago, set the world record in 2024 and claimed gold in the team pursuit at the world championships in March.

In the other race Friday, the women's 3,000, Greta Myers won in 4:06.799. As of now, the United States does not have a berth in Milan for that distance, but one of its athletes could end up in the field if another country relinquishes an opening.

“It's hard to wait,” said Myers, a 21-year-old from Lino Lakes, Minnesota. “But I'm very hopeful. I think it's at least a 50-50 chance that it'll happen.”

The U.S. Olympic roster for long track won't become official until the four-day trials at the Pettit National Ice Center wrap up on Monday. One element that could come into play is that the Americans are allowed to bring a maximum of eight men and six women to these Winter Games.

The biggest star of the team — and the sport — is scheduled to make his trials debut Saturday in the men's 1,000 meters: Jordan Stolz. The 21-year-old from Kewaskum, a town about 40 miles north of Milwaukee, is not just competing at home this week; he's racing at the same rink where he first began taking lessons as a kid.

He made his Olympic debut at age 17 in Beijing four years ago, finishing 13th in the 500 and 14th in the 1,000.

At both the 2023 and 2024 world championships, Stolz earned titles in each of the 500, 1,000 and 1,500 meters.

He's already pre-qualified for the Olympics based on performances at those three distances. All he really needs to do to lock down berths on the squad for the Feb. 6-22 Milan Cortina Games is show up at the starting line this week.

The 500 and 1,500 are slated for Sunday, and the mass start is Monday.

AP Winter Olympics: https://apnews.com/hub/milan-cortina-2026-winter-olympics

Casey Dawson, of Park City, Utah, right, and Ethan Cepuran, of Glen Ellyn, lllinois, left, compete in the men's 5,000 meters at the U.S. Olympic trials for long track speed skating at the Pettit National Ice Center in Milwaukee, Friday, Jan. 2, 2026. (AP Photo/Howard Fendrich)

The Pettit National Ice Center is seen in Milwaukee on Friday, Jan. 2, 2026, the first day of the U.S. Olympic trials for long track speedskating. (AP Photo/Howard Fendrich)